Blogging is for the Unemployed!!

Well, that's not technically true, however, as of today my employment status has become a lot less 'casual' and a lot more 'full-time', so updates my start to become sporadic in their timing.

Now, I know I promised you a cool story about where I've been, and I totally plan to honour that promise, but for now, with the lack of time currently at my disposal, I will (instead) have bring your attention to the cool stamped down piece of rubbish I saw the other day.



Random coincidence? Or secret sign? You decide!

Nobody Saw THIS Coming!!

Okay, so I will admit that that blimp does not really look like a blimp... However, rest assured, I have returned in one piece! Where did I go? Well, that's an interesting story indeed... You will need to check back for regular updates to hear the entire tale, but for now I shall tease your collective imaginations with a short, visual description of recent events.

Note: Events in question may have been altered slightly for entertainment purposes...

Distracted...

The world comes crashing to an end! The only way to hold of the impeding storm is for me to finish the next Wheel of Time book! I'm only (roughly) 500 pages from salvation... As long as I'm well fed and watered, comfortable with good lighting and there's a toilet nearby, I should knock this out before my next blog...



Hold fast, citizens of the world, I'm fighting the uphill battle!

Harry Profit and the Billion Plus Dollars

Before I get started, lets get three things straight:
• I am a big Harry Potter fan.
• I have read all seven books multiple times.
• I haven't seen Part #1 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows yet.


Now that's out of the way- holy money squandering move franchise! When was the last time six movies were released only to have the final movie (aka: the final chance to make millions of dollars) split into two parts?



Most people you ask- especially the diehard fans with 'Hufflepuff Daddy' tattooed across their shoulders- will say that it is to keep the movie loyal to the books, which is a good excuse, yet keep in mind the following:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was 636 pages long and converted in to 157 minute film.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix was a massive 766 pages long and converted in to a 138 minute film.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Princewas 607 pages long and converted into a 153 minute film.

And NOW

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows another 607 page long book, yet it has been converted into a 300+ minute film.

Double Rainbow! What does this mean? It means that when the difference in film revenue goes from being $933,959,197.00 (the total gross revenue of HP & The Half-Blood Prince) to $1,867,918,394.00 (double that), directors are suddenly very, VERY interested in living up to the book.

It would be enough to make me sick if I wasn't planning on seeing the movie this weekend! Which I will most likely love and return here shortly after denouncing myself… However, until then, be aware that my wrath is firm and unshakeable!

Done and Dusted!

My final exam took place yesterday at 1:30pm... I was there two hours early in order to memorise six pages of revision notes- which I did in about forty five minutes and spent the next hour and fifteen playing 'connect four' on my phone- before the big moment came.

I took my seat.

I answered my questions.

I shook my hand occasionally when it started cramping from writing too much.

And it was over. Done. Vanquished like Sauron as the One Ring dropped into the fiery pits of Mount Doom.

...

Now what?

Return of the Crazy!

While flipping through television channels (as one often does when bored and tired) I came across this interesting little piece of TV-Culture.

Yo Gabba Gabba... The name alone makes you wonder, but the name alone cannot compare to the bottled up crazy that this children's program puts on exhibition. For example, lets take a look at some of the featured segments that make up the show:
The Super Music Friends Show
Dancey Dance Time
Super Martian Robot Girl
Play Pretend with Muno

...And keep in mind, these aren't my personal descriptions of the show segments- these are their actual titles!

Now, I will admit that I was aware of this show before now, in fact, I own a couple (3) of 'Yo Gabba Gabba' brand t-shirts. However, in my defence, I purchased and wear the shirts more for their bright, pretty colours than I do for the program that they advertise. Additionally, I had no idea of how insanely crazy this program was at the date of my acquisition of aforementioned articles of clothing...

If I did, I don't know, maybe I would've been a little too frightened to buy them incase their craziness somehow seep from fabric to flesh. I mean, seriously, it's like the whole thing is directed by a guy engaged in the consumption of illicit substances!

Either that or some terrible glitch in The Matrix.

Music: Literature for the Poor.

The French philosopher, playwright and writer, Voltaire (who you can learn about here) once said: "Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung". Which, if you look at current trends in popular music, seems to be a pretty accurate statement.


Don't Get It? That's okay, Click here

Don't believe me? Don't be so quick to defend the Pop-Machine. The current song sitting at Number #1 on the Australian music charts is the grammatically insensitive 'We R Who We R' the "artist" Ke$ha, note the misplaced a crucial consonant that has been replaced with a '$' sign.

More proof? Here's the chorus of the above-mentioned tune:
"Tonight we’re going hard

Just like the world is ours

We’re tearin’ it apart
You know we’re superstars

We R who we R!"

Abysmal. However, the point here is not that the music is overproduced and the lyrics the literary equivalent to vomit, and though it may not seem like it, this is not a blost that aims to rage on and on about the downward spiral of musical creativity in the past fifty (or five hundred) years. It is simply an observation that I think we can all agree on, and that is that our choice in music has taken a step or two back from what it once was.

That's not to say that there isn't good music out there, because there certainly is. It's also not to say that the current music is pointless and good for nothing. Mindless, bass pumping music has its place on the dance floor, and I will testify that with my own personally sweet D-Moooves.

However, I am convinced that the messages contained within todays radio fodder is, as Volotaire so wisely stated, too stupid to be spoken.

Not Another Facebook Post!

Over the past few years, Facebook has become the standard by which most of us lead our social lives. It informs us of what is going on, when and where it is happening, who is going and whether or not that one person that might be attending is available.

It is a system that is continually updated to try and make it as flawless as conceivably possible and along with it has influenced a whole host of new pop-culture references. You couldn't 'like' something ten years ago.



You couldn't tell people you'd just met to 'Facebook' you. You certainly couldn't have said "that's totally going in my status" without at least someone thinking you were crazy. But you can now!

However, there is one new addition to the Facebook-Phenomenon that, to me, is bordering on taking things too far. It's the new 'Places' feature for iPhones (and probably most other phones soon too), where people can tell you where they are and you can click on that location and be provided with a map of their exact whereabouts.

Now, call me old fashioned, but isn't this just asking for trouble? That crazy old fellow who makes an account as some young, dashing stallion is now able to follow your Facebook and find out exactly where you are, right down to the name and number of the street.

It's a feature that, in my opinion, is not really required- I guess it could be useful for police looking to lure dimwitted thieves into their clutches by posing as a money bag or something- but for the general population, what's wrong with someone saying "I'm getting food here" without the additional option of posting a detailed street map for all to see?



That said, I neither own an iPhone nor have the finances available to invest in one, so in reality, the presence of a Facebook 'Places' feature has little real effect on how I live my life. I guess I'm just trying to be a Good Samaritan and keep you all safe from the dark and evils of Internet Predators.

Which brings me to my next point… There is totally a Facebook-Posting button ON my blog! I'm not sure if people are negligent of this feature or they just don't find these posts interesting enough to recommend to their e-friends, but I *can assure you that there is much to be gained by pressing this button and posting it to your social profiles…



*Disclaimer: This cannot legally be assured by Nate-Radio or any related parties.

Caution: Educational Devices Ahead

In light of my recent string of examinations, I have decided that I should not be the only one forced to learn things for the (pointless) purpose of knowing them. If I learn something, I want it to be for practical value, yet somehow this is not the way modern tertiary education is set up.

Therefore, I present to you, Einstein's Theory of Relativity, or at least, the Nate Radio edition. Now for copyright reasons (be they real or imaginary) I must note that this metaphor is largely inspired by Brian Greene's informative book 'The Fabric of the Cosmos'. Legal mumbo jumbo aside, here's the set up:






Note: Now this part catches some people up. Remember, you're still going 100km/h, you're just not going 100km/h NORTH. That speed is now distributed both Northern and Western directions. The sharper than angle becomes (or the more West you go) the more your Northern speed will drop until you are going 100km/h West and 0km/h North (at which point, you'll by hoverboarding out of screen to the left).


Note: Remember- you're always moving through time. You're always going "North" until you are travelling light speed through space, which is interesting if you think about it… Since light moves through space at the maximum velocity, it does not travel through time (it is the equivalent in the first picture to travelling completely west).



So that's it! I hope it interested you slightly. I personally find it quite cool to think that light has no concept of time, that it is travelling completely through space and therefore never ages. Even more so, I hope that it made sense. If not, hit me up in the comments. I'll try to explain any discrepancies best I can (remember, I'm not a physics graduate, just someone who enjoys reading about a wide range of topics)

And if it did make sense- congratulations! You can go and brag to your friends about your superior knowledge of Einstein's theories and make them feel intellectually inferior to your glorious brain!

Final Note: It has been pointed out to me that km/ph is grammatically incorrect. I accept full responsibility for the error and hope it doesn't cause you grammar-nazi's to stress too much. I also acknowledge that it should, in fact, be typed km/h.

Important Message!!

Sometimes you need this.

Seeking Employment: Will Grow Moustache for Money

And once again, it is November. Christmas and New Years is just on the horizon, the end is in sight. It's the annual equivalent of the last 100 metre dash- the one that will determine whether you remain a stripy zebra or a bloody carcass for the vultures.

It's also Movember. A month devoted to hairy faced men and prostate cancer.

Why Prostate Cancer?

Here are some fun-facts.
• Each year in Australia, close to 3,300 men die of prostate cancer - equal to the number of women who die from breast cancer annually. Around 20,000 new cases are diagnosed in Australia every year.
• Each day about 32 men learn news that they have prostate cancer - tragically one man every three hours will lose his battle against this insidious disease
• One in 9 men in Australia will develop prostate cancer in their lifetime

So, I'm jumping on board and volunteering my [in]ability to grow a healthy patch of hair on my face in the name of making a pile of cash to go towards Prostate Cancer Research. I'm not one to beg for money online (or at least, not publicly) but this is for a very good cause.



If you're feeling charitable and you've got a moment to spare. Please visit my donation page here and pledge some money towards this cause, even if it's only one or two dollars. No donation is too small and it all goes towards a great cause.

Until then… Moustache AWAAAAAAAY!!!!!

Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3

Today is a day of tests. I have my first exam tomorrow, for which I have studied very little and a completely open day to do whatever it is that I desire. The only problem is that there is an NBA doubleheader (with Chicago v New York followed by Portland v Oklahoma City) on television and then I'm due for a visit to the gym.

Is this my pre-exam? The one testing 'commitment' that is hidden under the clever guise of reality? Abraham Lincoln said: "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." I've got the power to have a solid day of cramming, yet I will probably spend more than half of it watching basketball. Somehow, I can't help but feel (slightly) dismayed at how easily distracted I am.



Silly NBA, testing me like this!

Maybe I'll just do both.

Compact Broadcast

Broadcast #1
I keep reading articles in the newspaper about people who are found dead on trains or in apartments after ridiculous amounts of time- I mean a mother AND daughter dead can go unnoticed for more than a month? What the hell? Have we become so self-involved as a society that we're beginning to miss corpses altogether?


Broadcast #2
Someone drove passed me the other day in a low, shiny, limegreen automobile. I don't know why but I had the Bells of Notre Dame from the Disney rendition of Hunchback of Notre Dame stuck in my head and somehow this popped into my head:

But then I remembered all the plastic surgery shows there are floating around and it killed my buzz.

Broadcast #3
The obvious similarities between the words 'chilli' and 'chilly' annoy me. Especially because the meaning of those words rest at such polar opposites.

When I invent a language, it will make much more sense.

Halloween Lives On!

For at least one more blost (that's NateSpeek for Blog Post, I'm hoping it catches on but I wouldn't stay I'm optimistic.)

I was in the shower this morning thinking of the tricking in 'Trick or Treat'. What happened to the tricking? It obviously hasn't been able to compete with the treating- as confirmed by Google (and this clever graph):


What is the deal? Are we becoming so lazy now that we'd prefer to give the kids candy than to teach them a cool new trick? When faced with the conundrum of teaching something or buying something, do we automatically just revert to the easy (if slightly more expensive) option?

I'm just as guilty as everyone else, last night, I gave the (three) Trick-Or-Treaters that came to my door chocolate bars- but no more! From now on, I say, lets learn some cool new tricks and NEXT Halloween, lets teach those kids something impressive.

Of course, I probably will forget to do this. In which case, I have a back up plan... And it goes a little something like this...

Halloween Special!

Halloween (or All-Hallows-Even, as the Scottish variant that gave birth to the name goes) is not a big thing in Australia. However, as the world has grown smaller and smaller with the increase of faster and faster technology, customs that were once ignored here in the sunburnt land of Oz have started to creep into society. As a result, Halloween, this year, was noticeable more prominent than usual- stores had merchandise, parties were in abundance and tonight, on Hallows Eve itself, three kids showed up at my front door looking for candy.

However, Australian Halloween seems to be a lazier variant of the stereotypical American one, because these kids weren't dressed up at all. They just said "Trick or Treat" and expected food, to which I obliged.

I don't feel bad, but the kids could've dressed up, costumes are awesome.

LoLternatives

It's always refreshing when I e-chat to people nearby and I hear that their laughter coincides with their 'lol'. Nobody likes the chronic 'lol'er, especially when they are merely faking.



If you find yourself typing 'lol' without performing the act itself, consider one of these acceptable (yet silent) lolternatives: (p.s, feel free to add to this list)
"How amusing"
"Good one"
"That's clever"
"You have me rofling inside"
"TFTL - too funny to laugh"
"Genius!"
"That one made me smile"

Or if all else fails, just revert to the infallible:

"I don't get it"


Remember folks, it's never too late to start typing in an honest and responsible manner!

It doesn't taste like a Doctor, nor does it taste like Pepper!

And the people say I'M the crazy one.


On a brighter note, the NBA season started today so if I vanish for long periods of time, I'm more likely glued to the couch (as opposed to being dead).

"Don't Feel Bad for the Suicidal Cats..."

"...They've got to kill themselves nine times before they get it right."

This charming line emerged from my car speakers the other day while I was waiting in the cursed peak-hour-trying-to-get-home-from-uni traffic. It's from a song called 'West Coast Smoker' by Chicago Pop-Punk sensations Fall Out Boy and it inspired a (wholly incomprehensible) blueprint to save cats worldwide from misery. That is assuming that all cats worldwide read my blog and have access to gasoline, a boat, burning house and other things.

Disclaimer: I don't condone suicide in any shape or form, but this was a fun concept to think about.

The Looming Shadow

Exams are on the horizon, and it is getting to that point where I should start studying. Studying now would give me a decent (if not ideal) amount of time for facts and figures to sink into my brain. This would be preferable to a night of cramming which would probably just leave me stressed and basically in the same position I would've been in had I not bothered to hit the books at all.

However, in the study I have done, I've noticed a distinct trend in not only my desire to study, but in the quality of my study. I have arranged this discovery as a visual representation here:


So, this issue seems to be less about me STUDYING and more about me distancing myself from the infinite wonders of the Interweb. Of course, that is easier said than done, and chances are if it would happen, a similar graph would come about, albeit with the words "Internet Speed" replaced by "Quality of Television Currently Airing".

Which we all know would just end up looking like this:

Primary Reason Why Generation X Shouldn't Use Eye-Charts (alternatively, PRWGXSUEC)

Random Monday!!

A few weeks ago (within the late September/early October bracket) I visited my home town for just about a week. It was good to see family and friends and do my best to polish up my (already adequate) Halo 3 multiplayer skills, but one of the real highlights came during one of my last nights at home.

I was out in the garage rummaging through boxes looking for books when I found an entire box of my old stuff. Trophies, watches, little Tech-Deck skateboards and a plain, nondescript notebook.

Now, I have no memory of writing what was within this notebook, but on the inside cover it had my name, my signature and a little "©" copyright sign. It also had some (terribly) drawn comics which, although completely and utterly nonsensical, I found to be absolutely hilarious.

I left the book, but remembered the comics, one of which (in upgraded digital format) goes as follows:



Oh Young Nate, you random specimen, there are so many ideas I wish to steal from you...

This Months Obsession

Now, I'm not one to normally play games or, in turn, get addicted to playing games, but this one is amazing. Like all of the best things in the category of "things I would call amazing", the plot behind Plants vs Zombies is easily explained. In fact, it's essentially in the title.

You are a homeowner in Zombie-Infested suburbia. Besides 'Crazy Dave' (your neighbour and only human compatriot) you are friendless in a world of Brain-Hungry-Zombies. Your only chance to survive? By planting clever shrubs that inflict damage on the advancing undead is quickly and strategically as possible. Plants cost sunlight which is generated by sunflowers. The more sunflowers you plant, the more sun you have, the more you can build up your garden (ie: fortress).



Your arsenal ranges from fast firing pea-shooters to slow timing potato-mines. You've got wallnuts that'll act as shields and cherry bombs that'll blow up anyone nearby. There's everything, melon catapults, corn-cob-cannons, and they all come accompanied with hilarious back stories.

Check it out from the official website, there's a free trial download that gives you one hour of playing time, but be warned, it is very very very addictive.

At least it was for me, I mean, I can't even pick flowers for my girlfriend now without considering the consequences...

Juggling? More like 'Druggling'

A few months ago I learned to juggle, a simple, yet, elegant skill that (up until then) had avoided my extra-cirricular education.

However, much to the dismay of my close friends (especially that of my wonderful girlfriend) this skill became a habit, which turned into an obsession and is now a fully fledged addiction.

Well, maybe not- that above paragraph is potentially exaggerated- but there clearly is an issue when every department store I enter finishes with me juggling the three most spherical (and least breakable) items I can find.



Is this a problem?

A Visual Representation Of My Day Thus Far

Essay Due: Tuesday, 12th of October.

Current Level of Completion: 0%

WISH ME LUCK =D

Foreign Food for Chumps

Today I drove past a sign that said 'Indian Food, $7.00'... Which lead to me thinking, "could this work for countries of... limited... food supply?"

Well, I ran the idea past my girlfriend and she laughed and told me I should make it into a comic.

So that is just what I did!



I feel I should put this on my list of "Potential-Get-Rich-Quick-Schemes", but I am wary of the costs of setting up a booth and the prospect of word travelling around that I don't actually sell anything...

While we're on the subject of food, this week I've decided that I am going to clean up my eating habits (at least until Christmas). I went to a fresh-produce market and bought myself a whole buttload of fruit and vegies before visiting a butcher and getting some cheap meat. I also got myself a juicer so I could replace my abundant intake of fizz with something juicier and somewhat more nutritional.

So far, I'm feeling good. It's too early for the health benefits to kick in, but the fact that I am actually doing it seems to have given me some kind of boost on its own. If you're wallowing a sea of poor nutrition and boredom, I would recommend you try it out too, if only just so you can tell me I'm wrong!

Back From Holidays

And we return to reality.

In this case, reality is a car that is in desperate need of a service, a major university assignment (with more than a couple more on the horizon) and an empty fridge.

The only thing getting me through today is the practice match between Miami Heat and Detroit Pistons and the technology (and know-how) to watch it online.

Sorry for the break. Comics, hilarity and whatever else I can muster will return soon... Now, if only I could slay these assignments like some kind of Warrior Poet...

I don't care what they say!

Toilet humor IS funny!



Interesting side note: The hole in a toilet is made out of the same stuff as the hole in a donut!

Seriously guys, it wasn't my fault!

A week of this Blog has simply VANISHED! I mean, three updates a week is the benchmark... Yet this is the first post since last Monday?

Terrible.

However, I have a reasonable explanation. You see, I was stuck in a Hedge-Maze!

This Hedge-Maze to be exact.

It all began when I was reminiscing about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (not that I read Children's books or is, in any way, affiliated with Witchcraft and Wizardry) and decided to do a search of local Hedge Mazes.

Success!

There was one not far away, only about 90 minutes drive. So, with the companionship of my trusty sidekick (and Girlfriend) I journeyed North until we saw this:


Which lead us to this:


Which, from the conveniently located 'watch tower' gave us the (less impressive view than promised) view of this:


Our mission was to find our way to the middle of the maze, bask in the glory of the fountain we would find there and journey out. We made it to the center, as photographic proof shows here:


But, unfortunately, I didn't make it out until just this morning...

Or did I?

Well, it wouldn't be a very good excuse if I didn't!

Nate-Runio!

My amazingly amazing sweetheart got me these today:



They are called 'Free Runs' because they have been designed on the premises that your shoe isn't structurally designed to run around in heavily padded shoes and, by using all that soft and squishy padding, you might actually be doing more harm than good- effectively blinding your feet from reacting to its surface.

So, in short, they are super light and super flexible to give you that "I'm like a little kid running around doing whatever I want at top speed and never having to slow down to do anything in the entire world ever ever ever" feeling.

The downside of this, is that they use muscles that the average-shoe-wearing joe has neglected for the majority of his average-shoe-wearing life. Therefore, Nike (and every other website I've visited for guidance) recommends you start slow, jogging only short distances or walking, until your foot becomes acclimatised to its new shell.

Regardless of that, I did 2kms this morning and just jogged out another 5km then, they make running extremely enjoyable (especially when you combine it with my newest nerdy hobby, geocaching =)

What up Techno-G?

Do you ever think back to your life, say, ten or fifteen years ago? Before the internet, before Facebook, before YouTube… Before you could Google your house and see what's in your neighbours backyard? Before you could buy everything you wanted with the click of a button?

I remember trying to get a copy of Pokémon Blue for Gameboy colour. I had to wait an entire month for my local toy store to order it in- a whole MONTH! These days I could just order it online and wait 3-5 business days. Even better, I could download the game and have it instantly!

And keeping in touch with people… I don't even remember how I did it before Facebook! I have a vague recollection of it resulting in a large phone bill, so I assume a lot of texting was involved, but it's hazy at best. Facebook has become the social norm, before that there was Myspace and before that, you could just chat on MSN. How did people stay in touch before that? I'm not sure I know.

And the pure volume of information available to everyone! I can recall being amazed when I got to play with my first software based encyclopaedia. I could type in 'Dinosaur' and KABAM, there was five or six pages of information on Dinosaurs. Compare that to what we can access now and that encyclopaedia was… crap.

So, keeping all this in mind, understanding how lucky I (and anyone reading this) is to live in a time with so much information at our fingertips, I guess there's not much else to say but this:

Beware of Blog-Monster!

Memo From Staff

Your Sweetheart is not a Condiment!

I was thinking, as I often do throughout the day, and I came upon the realisation that every time I see my lovely, wonderful, amazing, significant other, I call her something stupid.

Nothing TOO stupid mind you, and nothing that anyone would normally pick up on. However, when you put it down on paper (or in this case, photoshop) you realise just how stupid it actually is.


And of course this is only enhanced with the addition of pretty colours.

Which brings me to my next point- why bother being original? Do girls get a kick out of a syllable they haven't heard before added in reference to their name? Is it really better to do something differently just for the sake of being different?



A chicken crossing a road to get to the other side accomplishes the same goal as a chicken crossing the road for any other reason. Right? (Although, for some hilarious variations to that chickens reasoning, see here)

I guess what it comes down to, for me at least, is do I want to be thoughtful, or efficient.

...

How romantic is efficiency?