It doesn't taste like a Doctor, nor does it taste like Pepper!

And the people say I'M the crazy one.


On a brighter note, the NBA season started today so if I vanish for long periods of time, I'm more likely glued to the couch (as opposed to being dead).

"Don't Feel Bad for the Suicidal Cats..."

"...They've got to kill themselves nine times before they get it right."

This charming line emerged from my car speakers the other day while I was waiting in the cursed peak-hour-trying-to-get-home-from-uni traffic. It's from a song called 'West Coast Smoker' by Chicago Pop-Punk sensations Fall Out Boy and it inspired a (wholly incomprehensible) blueprint to save cats worldwide from misery. That is assuming that all cats worldwide read my blog and have access to gasoline, a boat, burning house and other things.

Disclaimer: I don't condone suicide in any shape or form, but this was a fun concept to think about.

What up Techno-G?

Do you ever think back to your life, say, ten or fifteen years ago? Before the internet, before Facebook, before YouTube… Before you could Google your house and see what's in your neighbours backyard? Before you could buy everything you wanted with the click of a button?

I remember trying to get a copy of Pokémon Blue for Gameboy colour. I had to wait an entire month for my local toy store to order it in- a whole MONTH! These days I could just order it online and wait 3-5 business days. Even better, I could download the game and have it instantly!

And keeping in touch with people… I don't even remember how I did it before Facebook! I have a vague recollection of it resulting in a large phone bill, so I assume a lot of texting was involved, but it's hazy at best. Facebook has become the social norm, before that there was Myspace and before that, you could just chat on MSN. How did people stay in touch before that? I'm not sure I know.

And the pure volume of information available to everyone! I can recall being amazed when I got to play with my first software based encyclopaedia. I could type in 'Dinosaur' and KABAM, there was five or six pages of information on Dinosaurs. Compare that to what we can access now and that encyclopaedia was… crap.

So, keeping all this in mind, understanding how lucky I (and anyone reading this) is to live in a time with so much information at our fingertips, I guess there's not much else to say but this:

Your Sweetheart is not a Condiment!

I was thinking, as I often do throughout the day, and I came upon the realisation that every time I see my lovely, wonderful, amazing, significant other, I call her something stupid.

Nothing TOO stupid mind you, and nothing that anyone would normally pick up on. However, when you put it down on paper (or in this case, photoshop) you realise just how stupid it actually is.


And of course this is only enhanced with the addition of pretty colours.

Which brings me to my next point- why bother being original? Do girls get a kick out of a syllable they haven't heard before added in reference to their name? Is it really better to do something differently just for the sake of being different?



A chicken crossing a road to get to the other side accomplishes the same goal as a chicken crossing the road for any other reason. Right? (Although, for some hilarious variations to that chickens reasoning, see here)

I guess what it comes down to, for me at least, is do I want to be thoughtful, or efficient.

...

How romantic is efficiency?

My Hat is (obviously) Better Than Your Hat

Women are from Venus, Men are from anywhere BUT Venus.

After reading my post 'Girls and Pasta' and, more importantly, the first line of that post, a female friend of mine replied: "Girls aren't tricky, boys are just mean!".



Which, sadly, most of the time is true.

But it's not our fault! It really isn't. Mens brains are just wired differently! That's not an excuse either, there are scientific studies supporting the fact that the brain of a man is anatomically different to that of a woman.

What does this mean? It means a man doesn't realise how mean he actually is. It's like a cat that eats your favourite (and only) goldfish. The cat doesn't have human emotions to make it feel sad, it is merely proud of itself for it's mad sweet hunting skills.



The mans brain is communicating how it is supposed to. To a woman, he is being incredibly mean, but to him, he's just getting his point across. He can't juggle subtle points and conversational flow the way a woman does. He can just talk. That's because women use both sides of their brain when they communicate, while men can only use one side, (see: communication)

So, Women of the World, next time you see a man being mean for no apparent reason, remember, he's only being mean relative to you!



Of course this is not a cop out on men being selfish idiots, this is just in reference to every day misdemeanours. If you see a men who cheat, lie, abuse and all that jazz... Well... They're just regular run-of-the-mill crapturds.

Missing!

While driving to vote a couple of days ago, my [wonderful, amazing, fantastic, beautiful] girlfriend pointed out a "Missing Bird" sign attached to a street pole.

Now, what are the chances that bird has of coming home? Better yet, what are the chances of anyone who see's the bird being able to catch it? Birds are slightly more mobile than your average pet and is also a lot more likely to blend in with other birds (of which there are plenty).

So this got us to thinking, what other animals, once lost, are almost certainly gone for good? Rats, mice, snakes, ant farms…

Oh and don't forget fish!


I hope the lady (or man) from the pole finds their bird, but unfortunately, I just don't see it happening.

Live in Peace brave bird! L.I.P!

New MacBook = New Blog

Welcome to Nate Radio. The most fabulous thing on the internet*. Fingers crossed it will last longer than the average blog of mine and toes crossed that it will be slightly more entertaining.

So, have you ever just sat down at a keyboard and started typing? And continued to type until your mind runs out?

But you wont stop typing, because your mind never runs out. It's a difficult notion to conceive- the idea of something that never stops, never pauses, a self sustaining machine, producing new thoughts, ideas and philosophies every second- even now while I type, little things I write (for example, typing the word 'conceive' reminded me of the spelling rule 'I before E except after C' which in turn reminds me of when I learnt it in my school days which brings about further memories) spread off into an endless ripples of thoughts.

I'm not sure if everyone thinks like this, processing an endless web of different thoughts at once, but (to quote All Time Low) this is how we (aka: I) do.

However, an endless repartee of typing, although never exactly the same is sure to repeat itself, and I wouldn't want to bore you, so lets call it a day. I've done my job and opened the blog, now I have to go about the much more difficult task of nurturing it into something consistently… Present.

After all, nobody likes a blog with only three posts!


*Subject to relativity,