Thursday, July 22, 2010

One, Two, Three, Four- I declare a Thumb War!

Today, I went to the 'World Biggest Toy Sale'. There were lots of people.

Lots of people.

Big lines, crowded aisles, lots of stress.

What ever happened to the days where a kid was simply told to go outside and find their own entertainment?



Further proof that Children are born with enough stimulus to keep themselves entertained.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

spy with my little eye something beginning with 'B'

If you answered 'Blog', then you would be correct.

So, I had a flashback of the all good times I had as a child playing this game. Well "all" is a strong word, but I do distinctly remember a few instances where I excelled at this common car-trip game.

The first- and most successful, might I add- was when I was very young and struggled with sounding out different letters (a distinct advantage in the I-Spy world). We were on a long trip and it was my turn, so I said "I spy with my little eye, something beginning with W".

Well, my brother and sisters guessed and guessed until they could guess no more, my parents even joined in. At last when all had failed and they asked me to give them the answer, I proudly announced 'Wabbit'.

Me: 1.
Immediate Family: 0

However, I eventually grew up and learned to read. My 'Ignorance is Bliss' clause was thrown out the window and instead, I had to become crafty in my selection of what exactly it was I had spied.

You know those annoying people who choose a very specific, distinct, and almost unguessable aspect of something common? Well that is what I became. So you can imagine my horror when this would occasionally happen:



For those interested, the definition of a Trichome can be found here.

However, I have noticed recently that my I-Spying has become less and less frequent. This has made me sad and inspired me to write this blog post…

So when push comes to shove, if you take nothing from reading this than a desire to reminisce a little with some good old fashion 'I Spy', then my job will be done.

Is there anyone nearby? Now is the perfect time to start =)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Reading is a non racial activity.



Whenever my exceptionally tanned friends ask me what I'm doing, I feel the urge to tell them I'm going to a KKK meeting. Not to freak them out or to imply that I am racist, but to make them feel unwelcome- only then will I let them in on the secret that the meeting is something entirely innocent… Oh boys would their faces be red!!

However, this never happens because I'm not affiliated with the KKK and I don't have enough money to afford a crazy cloak and pointy hood.

So instead, I just draw pictures. It's not quite the same, but it's close!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Blog ft. Hayley Williams

Some songs are just morbid!

But only if you think of it in just the right way!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Quick! Someone call the Bearmbulance!

Today we discovered that my girlfriends childhood cherished bear, Sam, had a rip in his arm.

Naturally, my mind instantly jumped to this



Which brings me to my next point: "How old is too old for stuffed animals?"

Most people give away their cherished, inanimate comrades around about the same time as they start picking up mobile phones and iThings, however, are the select few that hold on and never forsake their toys justified in the regard that they are maintaining and important link to their childhood? Perhaps even a link that allows some respite in a busy, stressful, adult world?

For the sake of siding with my wonderful girlfriend, I'm going to say that, if the toy is important to you and keeps you happy, you can never be too old.

After all, what's the difference between a stuffed bear and an iPad? Well, the iPad limits your imagination and costs a lot more, but besides that, they're items of leisure.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Now that all the smoke is gone...

History is written every day, every hour, every minute.

That YouTube video you watched five minutes ago? History. That scratch you itched thirty seconds ago? History.

That spelling error you only just noticed? History.

Every moment you live is a part of your own personal history. How cool is that? Of course some people have a more history than others, but that's not because of who they are, it is because of what they have done.

You want to be interesting? Go make some history!

Or not, really it's up to you.

(Which is kind of the point)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Banana Stocks Are Going Up?

It is occasionally awkward when I pass acquaintances out in the real world, not friends, mind you, but the people who you know well enough to warrant a greeting, but not well enough to stop and converse with.

The problem? It's the passing greeting.

You see, whenever you pass someone you vaguely know, there are only two basic questions you can ask (obviously there are variations to the questions, but I'm talking about the bare bones of the subject)

The first is, "How is it going?" and the second is "How are you?".

The other person already knows this is going to happen, so the minute they see you, they start to gear up to answer. The problem is, both questions have an entirely different response. This leaves a 50% chance it can go wrong and lead to something embarrassing for both the asker and the askee:



Now, the solution is simple- just ignore them and look like a jerk.



OR

Say something different. It will force them to think before you answer and save the situation entirely.

Remember- it's up to you to make a change. Fight the prospect of a boring future!

THE POWER IS YOURS!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

It's Laundry Day!

I was randomly perusing the endless wonders of the television today when I came across an advertisement for laundry powder which, for all intents and purposes, was stupid.

You see, it starts with two little girls playing dress ups, their mother quickly enters the scene and remarks at the makeup stains the little girls had left on her blouse.

That was the believable part!

Seconds later, a laundry powder saleswoman appears in the house, totally unannounced, product in hand and the family treats this like something completely normal.

Note to Advertisers: In the real world, when random sales people appear in your room, you become slightly alarmed.

So what makes this different from any other ridiculous ad? Probably the fact that it tries so hard to be ordinary.

Or maybe I was just cranky today.

Here's how it should have played out:

Monday, July 12, 2010

Anti-Master Chef

Pasta

You will need:
A fork
A medium sized saucepan
Water
375g ravioli pasta
1/4 cup thickened cream



Step 1. Fill saucepan with enough water to cover pasta and set to boil on hotplate.



Step 2. Wait for water to boil.



Step 3. Carefully place pasta into bowling water and stir every 2-3 minutes with fork.

Step 4. Once pasta has softened (3-5 minutes) to desired taste, drain water.

Step 5. Place pasta in a bowl, pour in cream and mix around with fork until cream thins to a water-like consistency.





Step 6. Eat and enjoy.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Extra! Extra! Half price movies!

My good buddy and I hired out a movie the other day, on the way, while discussing our current financial situations, we came up with the idea of paying on the basis of how much of the movie you saw. In our eyes it would go along the lines of something like this:



Now, I personally think this is a fabulous idea- in theory.

Now, making people leave during a films "thrilling conclusion" without interrupting others would be hard, but imagine what this would do for the quality of the film industry?

Basically, crap movies could no longer be tolerated, as people would only pay for the first ten minutes and then leave. This control over film quality would force major studios to not only increase the quality of everything, from plots to scripts to actors performance.

And aren't you willing to put up with a couple of disruptions for the sake of a higher standard of film?

Thursday, July 8, 2010

My Friend The Bird

Birds are amazing creatures. During their season of migrations, birds fly for thousands of miles at a time, navigating, like seamen of old, solely on the location of the stars.

However, one thing they cannot do very well is escape courtyards.

I learned this today as a flutter of flapping and banging interrupted my daily perusal of YouTube. The source of the conundrum? A Magpie-Lark (also known as a Mudlark, Murray Magpie and Peewee) had found it's way into our courtyard area and was doing it's bestest to give itself a headache.

I watched transfixed for a few moments as it repeatedly flew into the mesh netting, not at all discouraged by the seemingly invisible forcefield that repeatedly knocked it back.



Being sympathetic at heart, I did my best to set it free, first trying to make a trail of bread, so that the bird could eat its way to freedom. However, the panic and distress of the situation must have chased away our friends appetite, as my generosity was rewarded only with further attempt at escape!

Eventually, with the aid of a mop, I set the Magpie-Lark free, however, not before noticing the distinct smell and presence of a farewell gift.



Oh nature!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Tweet, Tweet

Ninety five percent of people who start blogs quickly forget about them.

Now, I made that percentage up, but I don't think it would be too far fetched to assume it is somewhat accurate. I imagine (with my magical imagination ball) that this is true because of three reasons.

i) Blogging takes effort.
ii) Blogging takes time.
iii) Blogging requires some form of consistency.

Now, these three things, when you combine them, become quite the Goliath. Large and looming and seemingly unbeatable. So what do people do? Well, to stick with my biblical metaphor, people take it out David style- with a small stone.



Cue Micro-Blogging. One or two sentences, straight to the point and requiring little (if any) eloquence. Enter stage left sites like Twitter that basically allow everyone to feel like they are contributing, which in truth they are- if only in bite sized serves- and thus please the masses of attention starved people.

Is this really a good thing though? Or are we going to end up living in a world where everyone is too busy expressing their ideas to read the ideas of those around them?

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

It's fun to be clever.

Creating a Romancemobile

So today I decorated my girlfriends car. She is off camping with her family so I figured I would take her absence (and the current possession of her keys) as an opportunity to do something nice.

So I went to the local Coles supermarket and stocked up on supplies (Interesting sidetone: Coles party and decorations section is a big let down). I also stocked up on Caramel Crowns, arguably the most delicious chocolate cookies in the Arnotts range.

First step, I had to make a banner, the letters with coloured paper on backing of different coloured paper. I quickly came to realise that my cutting out skills had taken a backwards step since Primary School, but I got it done and strung it up.



I then went on to fill 10 balloons with 10 handwritten messages about why I missed her and blew them up. I strung them together and tied them to her rear-view-mirror.



Heart meltingly romantic? Well just wait, I'm not done yet!

I also ran a length of string from the rear view mirror to each of the back seat handles and (with the help of a hole punch, red paper and some love-heart shaped post-its) made a little line of love hearts on red backing.




I used the rest of the love-heart post-its to decorate the area behind her back seats and TA-DAA! Instant decorated car.


So now I just have to wait for her to get back…

Monday, July 5, 2010

New MacBook = New Blog

Welcome to Nate Radio. The most fabulous thing on the internet*. Fingers crossed it will last longer than the average blog of mine and toes crossed that it will be slightly more entertaining.

So, have you ever just sat down at a keyboard and started typing? And continued to type until your mind runs out?

But you wont stop typing, because your mind never runs out. It's a difficult notion to conceive- the idea of something that never stops, never pauses, a self sustaining machine, producing new thoughts, ideas and philosophies every second- even now while I type, little things I write (for example, typing the word 'conceive' reminded me of the spelling rule 'I before E except after C' which in turn reminds me of when I learnt it in my school days which brings about further memories) spread off into an endless ripples of thoughts.

I'm not sure if everyone thinks like this, processing an endless web of different thoughts at once, but (to quote All Time Low) this is how we (aka: I) do.

However, an endless repartee of typing, although never exactly the same is sure to repeat itself, and I wouldn't want to bore you, so lets call it a day. I've done my job and opened the blog, now I have to go about the much more difficult task of nurturing it into something consistently… Present.

After all, nobody likes a blog with only three posts!


*Subject to relativity,